you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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