Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
