you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
