It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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