It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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