I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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