Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
