return my video game
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
