That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
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Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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