after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
