Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
