He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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