I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
