There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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