Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
