absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
