i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
