I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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