Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
