Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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