Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?

(843): View more from South Carolina

You're upset about this?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

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(905): View more from Ontario

His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.

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(330): View more from Ohio

It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.

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(727): View more from Florida

Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?

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