We're like a lot better than the average bears
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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