My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.