You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
