Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.