Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
