I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
