If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
