Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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