wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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