kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
