Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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