; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
