i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize