I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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