So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
