so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
