We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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