Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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