Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Semen is not good for contacts.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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