If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize