i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
