So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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