Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
