He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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