fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
