I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
