Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
