How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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