All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
