Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
