Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
