day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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