he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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