i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
