And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
