Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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