Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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