I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize