Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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