can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
