so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
