Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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