My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
